my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize