"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
