No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
