I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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