the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
