Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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