Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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