We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
