I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
