when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize