im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
