Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
