i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
The maid of honor just puked.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize