Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
