Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
