Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
