But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
