After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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