So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
