Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
