after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
