That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
