Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he thought i was a dude.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
