whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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