is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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