so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
