when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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