? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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