some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
