I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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