well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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