you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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