one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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