ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
