Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
