exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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