If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
