No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize