I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Everclear isn't food dammit
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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