Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
