just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize