The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
