I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
