Michael Bay diarrhea
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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