Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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