just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
