"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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