I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
