help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
