Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize