Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
