oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize