We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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