he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
