So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
