I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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