do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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