Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
